


not a kid anymore.

by serenascampbell



Category: Scott & Bailey
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-11 12:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2068365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenascampbell/pseuds/serenascampbell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Gill's ordeal, she has a conversation with Rachel that sheds light on a few darkened facts - the two form an increasingly close relationship. Kudos, Reviews, Follows - they are all appreciated! I haven't sorted out a schedule for writing this because even when I do, I never stick to them because I write when I feel the need so this is going to be very varied uploading, just as a forewarning. </p>
<p>Yes, there is homosexuality. Yes, there is sexual content. Yes, there is non-cannonical events. Yes, this is MY interpretation of how I want Series 4 to play out. I don't own the characters or the show and if you don't like my writing, don't read it and you can wait out the hiatus with no content whatsoever. Mwah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“What were you doing in the pub in the middle of the afternoon?” Gill questioned. “What do you think this is, Life on Mars?”

Janet and Rachel sniggered slightly at her sarcasm while they perched comfortably at the end of her bed. Both of them rose almost simultaneously to stand at the foot of the bed next to one another.

“Coming downstairs then? You can't let Dave drink all of the booze in the house.” Janet stretched a hand out to pull Gill from the bed but she received a small shake of the head in response.

“I'll be down in a minute, I just need a word with this kid first. Don't get too bladdered while you're waiting because I don't fancy playing catch up.” Gill moved to an upright position as she spoke, smirking as she saw the accusing look on Janet's face as she acknowledged the half-empty bottle of gin on the bedside cabinet. Janet made her way swiftly to the door and gave an asserting nod to Rachel as she closed it behind her. 

“Come here and take a seat Sherlock. ” Gill patted the space just beside her and pulled her knees up to her chest to make space. “I believe congratulations are in order, that was the first time you ever had to deal with a hostage situation – no less involving someone that you know. Really Rachel, I'm proud of everything that you did today, and I'm grateful more than anything.” 

Rachel turned her head away, shaking it gently in denial. 

“I didn't do anything, really I didn't.” Her tone was more shy than usual, and there was hesitation in the way that she was talking. She was trying to hold down the lump in her throat as she spoke but she was fighting a losing battle. “I didn't do anything...I...really I...I should've done more. I just, just sat there and listened...praying in my head. I should've done something...I was just...I don't know, I was useless.” Rachel was choking down sobs as she spoke and there were tears rolling down her cheeks. 

“I'm so sorry Boss.” She looked up and made eye contact with Gill, searching for some emotion to interpret. Ever since she'd started this job almost three years ago, it was what she had dedicated herself to: impressing Gill, making sure not to dissapoint Gill, protecting Gill, hiding from Gill. 

“Hey, come here kid. There's no need to cry over me, especially not when I'm all well and good – thanks to you and Janet I might add.” She moved towards Rachel and pulled her towards her, holding her closely as she spoke. “You did everything you could, what else were you expected to do? Drive out yourself and put yourself in danger? No, you were where you were supposed to be and you succeeded in doing your job. Be proud of that.”

“Yeah but, I really thought...there was a moment or two there when I thought this was it. I genuinely thought she was going to kill you and I don't know what the unit would have done, I don't know what Manchester would have done – it would be devastating if anything ever happened to you.” Rachel clung tightly to the fabric of Gill's jacket and negated with herself that she was crossing a line. A crease formed between Gill's eyebrows and confusion clouded her expression, she pulled Rachel to arm's length so she could see her and frowned. 

“Are you telling me you'd miss old Godzilla?” Gill added a hint of humour to her tone as a precaution and pursed her lips tightly as she searched Bailey's eyes.

Rachel yanked her, full-force in to her chest and wrapped her arms around her like a lamp post in a tornado. 

“You stupid, stupid, woman! Of course I'd miss you, we'd all miss you! You're the only reason I've got a bloody job. As well as half of Syndicate 9 but me especially!” As soon as the words had escaped her lips, Rachel wanted to go back in time and pull them back in to her brain – she had just called her boss 'stupid'.

“That's because you're the best young detective I've ever come across, remember?” Gill responded. “I've got to keep you hidden or someone else'll come and snap you up before you know it.”

Rachel finally loosened her hold on Gill and pulled back to look Gill straight in the face. She couldn't read the situation so she didn't do anything, Rachel just sat there, motionless for what seemed like an eternity.  
Before a split second had passed Gill's lips were on hers, there was no movement for a moment as though she was waiting for a reaction. Rachel was in shock, no other emotion ran through her mind at that point, only pure and utter surprise. 

She felt as though her lips had detached from her brain, Rachel didn't think about kissing her back, she just did. Her head was at the back of Gill's head and the other – which had been resting on her thigh was now gripping tightly to the fabric of her trousers. 

Gill slid her hand inside the brown blazer, tugging at the fabric of Rachel's blouse and allowing her cool palm to slither beneath it and meet the warm, bare flesh of Rachel's back. Rachel fell back on to the bed, pulling Gill on top of her and slipping her hand below the neckline of the green cardigan to caress the nape of her neck. On the stairs, the sound of the floorboards creaking under the weight of someone's feet pulled them apart and they stared at each other cautiously. 

The bathroom door clicked and both women exhaled audibly in relief. 

“That was extremely unprofessional of me and I apologize profusely, shall we go downstairs and find Janet now?” Jill spoke normally, attempting to hide the deepened breathing and the blush of her cheeks. Rachel tried to hide the disappointment in her expression as she rose to straighten herself out.


	2. Chapter 2

Sat on the decking, holding her cigarette with numb fingers from the cold, Rachel laughed to herself at the way she'd let herself believe anything could ever really happen between her and Gill. There was a great divide between the two of them – both personally and professionally, she'd never even had a chance.

“Hey, you heading home soon?” She raised her head to see Gill stood there, absolutely pissed but still retaining some degree of self-respect. That was one of Murray's skills – even if she was completely out of her face, she never lost her etiquette, no matter how gobby she got or how many times she stumbled.

“Sorry, I've outstayed my welcome. Just let me call a cab, would ya?” Rachel was speaking slobbishly and the alcohol had already taken an effect on her behaviour because she'd almost her heel in someone's leg earlier on in the evening when she fell over. 

“No, it's not that I was just wondering if you wanted me to make up the spare room for you. Cabs always cost more after 12 and we can...have a chat over the wine that's still left if you want?” Gill's suggestion was half-hearted and it was obvious that she wasn't committed to the words leaving her mouth. 

“It's fine, I have the money and I wouldn't want to interrupt your night – Orla and Sammy's night.” Rising from the step she had been sat on, Rachel staggered and had to grab a hold of Gill to steady herself as she blinked profusely trying to battle the dizziness.

“I'm not letting you go home alone like this, you wouldn't make it through your front door. I can't drive you because I'm slaughtered myself and it's no trouble anyway. Orla and Sammy are at a hotel that her parent's paid for, we agreed between us that neither of us wanted to hear out kids celebrating their engagement.” She laughed a little as she said the last sentence and Rachel smirked in response. 

Walking slowly inside in silence, Rachel contemplated whether she could really spend an entire night in the same house as Gill after what had happened just a few hours ago. She took a seat on the sofa and bit her nails as she stared, allowing her eyes to lose focus while looking at the complex pattern of the carpeting. 

“Not putting up a fight then?” Rachel raised an eyebrow at her as if to say 'It wouldn't be worth it.' Gill grabbed the two bottles of red wine from the kitchen counter and grabbed a pair of glasses from the draining board that appeared to be relatively clean. She took a seat at the opposite end of the couch and poured the wine before leaning over to hand one to Rachel. 

“Look...I'm sorry.” Gill stated plainly, looking directly at her colleague who was staring straight back at her with a curious edge in her expression. “For earlier, I understand how you feel.”

“NO! No, you don't. Don't even begin to go down that route because I swear I have enough alcohol in my system to smack the next person who claims to know me better than I do!” She had barely finished her sentence when Rachel interrupted her, speaking loudly and confrontationally. 

Gill had made a rule for herself that she could never judge Rachel for anything she said when she was in this state, or at least not on a professional level. After getting her this far, she wouldn't let the best employee she had go because of something she said when she was out of her mind. 

“Don't look at me like that, like you understand this because you couldn't be further away from accurate.” There was a tint of anger to the way that Bailey was speaking but it was overrun with upset. 

“Alright, okay, tell me then because I want to know. I really would love to know what is going on because if I was in your position I'd be getting ready to fill in an incident form first thing Monday morning.” Gill responded calmly, doing her best not to hit any nerves like a young child playing Operation!

“I'm not pissed off that it happened – I'm fuming about the way it ended though because I've been waiting months – over a year – for something like that to finally happen. Then when it does you fail to acknowledge it the moment afterwards. I don't give a damn about professionalism and you seem to use that an excuse for everything and I'm bloody sick of it!” 

Gill gave a slight nod of the head, indicating that Rachel should continue.

“It wasn't professional of me to almost have a breakdown today stressing about losing you, it wasn't professional when you didn't turn me in to the board! Not everything in life has to revolve around your work, Gill! You can't keep hiding behind your job every time you don't want to face something.” The alcohol in her blood stream had effected her to the point where Rachel had no filter and if she had been sober...or if it wasn't Gill – this would be more than enough to get her fired. 

“You're right, I do hide behind my position because I'm terrified of anything that it isn't completely certain in my life. I hold on to my job because it can't choose to run away from me, anything else can be lost in a split second but I know that unless I do something really bloody stupid, I'm always going to have a home in that office.” There were tears welling in her eyes as she let go of her inhibitions – Rachel wouldn't even remember this in the morning so there was no need for her to lie. 

“I can't put the job that I have spent my whole life working towards on the line, just for a fling with one of my juniors who's going to get bored after a week. I can't take a risk like that Rachel, I don't have the guts for it.” 

Rachel moved like rapid fire and put her lips against Gill's . She held tightly to her neck, pulling her closer towards her and tugging at her until they were practically on top of one another – they kissed heatedly and their movements were swift and passionate like the whole world had been covered by a veil of red. 

Then she pulled away forcefully and spring-boarded backwards to the other end of the couch, looking deeply in to Gill's eyes. 

“Did that feel like a fling to you Gill? Because I swear to God, if you don't feel anything for me then I'll leave – ask to be relocated if I have to but I honestly can't believe that there isn't more there than lust, at least I know that isn't the case for me.”


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up the next morning, Rachel took a moment to figure out where she was. She found herself in Gill's bed but as she looked beside her there was no-one there. There was light creeping through the curtains and there were birds singing loudly, the clock beside her said 5:53AM – she stood up and realized that she was still wearing last night's clothes except with the blazer or shoes. 

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she heard the kettle boiling and walked towards the kitchen. Sat at the table, there was Gill in a dressing gown with her hair pulled back scruffily and dark circles around her eyes. Her expression was vacant as though she hadn't acknowledged Rachel's entering the room, or the sound of the kettle just beside her. 

“What are you doing up so early?” Rachel asked as she walked towards her and began to pour hot water in to the mugs already there. “You look like you haven't been to sleep at all.”

“I haven't – I wasn't tired so I just put you in my bed instead. There didn't seem much point in making an extra bed when there was one not being used. I've just been sat here all night, thinking.” Gill took hold of the mug that was within arm's reach of her and took a sip. As she listened to her, Rachel grabbed a couple of paracetamol out of the cupboard and took them to combat the pounding in her head. 

“About what? What's so important it kept you up all night?” Bailey took the seat opposite her and began to drink her coffee. 

“Nothing important really, just everything that happened yesterday.” Murray spoke hesitantly although she tried to hide, speaking smoothly and smiling at Rachel as she did. 

“I remember. I know you didn't want me to but I do, not all of it but enough to know what happened. So you can't just pretend it never happened.” She responded. “Also I owe you a huge apology and vow to suck up for the foreseeable future in order to keep my job.”

“Wait. What do you remember?!” There was worry in her eyes as she placed down her mug on the table and scratched at her knuckles violently, as she always had. 

“The conversation we had after everyone else had left, I don't remember your answer but I assume that considering I'm still here, it went in my favour.” 

“No, tell me you're joking. Tell me you're getting me back for that last time with the phone call. Just tell me you aren't serious kid.” Murray struggled not to shout as though she was angry but she didn't quite want to show it so openly. Rachel rolled her eyes and reached out to grab Gill's hands from across the table – why was her boss so melodramatic at unnecessary times?

“Don't worry, I'm not going to out you, or report you or anything – I can easily come up with a cover story for leaving. I get it...and I won't force you in to doing something that you obviously don't want to do. I'm going to go and take a shower as long as you don't mind and then I'll be out of your hair.” She spoke plainly before walking towards the door, not waiting for a response because her head hurt too much for a heated argument. 

The steam filling the room was helping to clear her head, she was terrified to leave the room because she didn't want to face Gill – it was like closure to something that she didn't quite want to end. Rachel had just said she was going to resign from her position because she was angry and she wasn't thinking properly! The hot water was falling down the slopes of her body as she pulled her fingers through her hair removing the final remnants of shampoo. Standing under the stream of the water relaxed her so she stood there for a couple more minutes – breathing deeply as her headache faded.

Just as she was about to turn off the shower and get out, she heard the door handle turn and her eyes widened like a deer in headlights. 

“Erm...Sammy? I'm in here, love, can you just wait a minute?” Rachel turned towards the wall as she spoke, particularly grateful for the smoked glass protecting her modesty. 

“It isn't Sammy – he isn't coming back for a few nights, I told you that. I just needed to tell you something and I know now isn't exactly an appropriate time but I needed to say it before I talk myself out of it.” Gill's voice was strong and confident as she spoke. “I won't let you quit your job, especially not because of me. And you were right yesterday, all of the things that you said were true and it's going to be extremely stressful and it's going to mean risking a lot but I'm willing to take that leap because I really like you, kid. Have done for a long time and I'm sick of denying that for the sake of a pay cheque at the end of the month.”

“Are you saying...?” Rachel turned hesitantly, sliding the door of the shower cubicle so she could see out of it. Gill was stood there with a certain look on her face that had never been seen by anyone in public before – it was pure unadulterated fear on the face of DCI Murray. 

She nodded slowly and exhaled deeply like she was preparing herself to say yes, she gnawed at her upper lip before raising her head slightly. The shock was apparent on her face when she saw Rachel's face there.   
“Come here.” Rachel almost purred. Gill obeyed and was pulled in to the shower, still fully dressed, and by the time Rachel had finished? They both had to take another shower.


	4. Chapter 4

Monday morning came around and Rachel and Gill had been calling each other all weekend – they'd been talking like a regular couple beginning to date because honestly...they didn't know that much about each other at that point. 

Walking in to the office almost half-an-hour early, Rachel had made extra effort purely because she had the energy to for once. All of the time she had spent, running around looking like an idiot to impress Gill, that was over now because she was going to knuckle down and make sure that she was worthy of the position that she had. 

“Hello there, did someone find a fella' after I went home on Friday?Hmm?” Janet asked as soon as she saw Rachel enter the room.   
“No, why would you think that?” 

“You've got that glow about you, the type you only get when you're getting some. You better tell me if it's someone I know...matter of fact you'd better tell me anyway pal!” Rachel responded with an emphasized nod of understanding before sitting down and logging on to her computer. 

She worked for a solid three hours before Gill turned up after a morning of meetings – and decided she wanted to text Rachel every two minutes because as DCI, she had nothing better to do with her time.   
'Hurry up n reply 2 me!xxx'

'Didn't know u paid me 2 text ;)xxx'

As soon as the message had sent she hid her phone underneath the desk but Janet had already noticed it and whizzed around to her side of the desk. 

“I knew it!” Janet squealed excitedly, looking expectantly at the phone. “Come on, tell me who it is! You know I'll get it out of you so just tell me!”

She grabbed the phone out of Rachel's hand and looked at the screen but was disappointed at what she saw. Already taking precautions against the dangers of having the world's most nosey best friend – Rachel had added a password and changed Gill's name on her phone to LM – Lady Murray, it was something that Janet would never guess – and Gill had changed hers to Billy B – Billy The Kid Bailey – for the same reason.   
Neither of them wanted to take the risk of outing themselves before it mattered enough for them to even want to stay together. It wasn't worth losing their jobs over something that meant hardly anything to them. 

“That is so not fair! What are you hiding from me Rachel? Who's LM?” Janet exclaimed, dragging Rachel towards the toilets so she could extract the information from her. “You have to tell me Rachel! NOW!” 

Rachel rolled her eyes and went in to a cubicle so she could send a mayday text without being spied on. 

Come 2 toilets, save me from J xxx

She flushed the toilet before joining Janet at the sinks and looking at her with a very patronizing glare that she failed to hold through her giggles. 

“I'm not telling you yet Janet! Be patient, it might end up being nothing and then you won't have missed out on anything.” Rachel was drying her hands when she heard the door open and she internally sighed with relief. 

“Having a little catchup are we ladies? On my time?” Gill raised her eyebrows accusingly, boring holes through the two of us with her eyes. “If it's this interesting then I must know it myself.” Janet rolled her eyes before heading for the door and Rachel followed quickly in suit, shooting a quick smile at Gill as she left. 

“What's up with her today? She's in a worse mood than usual.” As we made our way down the stairs she rolled my eyes at Janet and silently laughed a little. 

Rachel spent her afternoon doing door-to-door with Kevin so she wasn't being pestered by Janet all day. All that she wanted to do was get back to the office and wait for everyone to go home so that she could go out for drinks with Gill. 

The case had seemed like an easy catch initially but now that the alibi for the main suspect had been proved, it made things considerably more difficult. The only good thing about this case was that it seemed to entail a lot of overtime for Rachel in the office when everybody else has gone home. 

Kevin kept asking her why her phone kept going off and all she could do was tell him to mind his own business – Kevin was the kind of lad who believed in every regularity and he would go and tell Gill that I'd left my phone on while we'd been out just to make sure he didn't get in any trouble for not turning me in straight away. Some of the people that we interviewed seemed to be getting frustrated with the amount of times my phone was going off while we were questioning them but I don't think they'd have that type of look on their face if they knew who they were from. 

Returning back to base after an afternoon, nobody had made much progress and there was no-one that could be taken in to custody. This case already felt like it was going to be a long one and Rachel – nor the rest of the team – had any objection to a cool-down period where their lives weren't in direct danger for once. 

“Coming over to The Grapes tonight, Rach'?” Janet asked as she pulled her coat on, looking glumly at the rain outside. 

“No, I've got some paperwork to do and then I'm going straight home to bed. I'm still absolutely shattered.” Rachel replied, winking at Janet just to wind her up – the one thing that her best friend could not stand was being in the dark about something that was going on.

“I will get it out of you Sherlock! Trust me, I will find this out – they don't call me a detective for nothing!” She called as she walked out of the door and I rolled my eyes at her before sitting back down and completing a report and over viewing my statement for the Nick Savage case.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey kid, coming round for a night cap?” Gill questioned, leaning over Rachel and planting a kiss on the top of her head. 

“Sure, I'll follow you in my car. Just going to put this report on your desk first.” Rachel responded before grabbing her bag and jacket and beginning to make her way downstairs with Gill walking beside her. 

In her car was a spare outfit just in case she ended up staying the night, she considered that possibility as she drove. 

All afternoon, Gill had been worried about Rachel while she was out – maybe that was the greatest downfall of dating people you work with – because you're constantly worrying about all the dangers you know exist in your line of work. 

Both cars pulled in to the driveway at almost the same time and both women laughed to themselves a little, in an easier life they could save the environment and car pool. 

“Red or white today?” 

“Do you even need to ask?” The two women walked up the driveway and entered the house, there was no need for creeping around now that Orla and Sammy had moved in together. 

There were only two places where they could entirely be comfortable with one another, everywhere else they had to take precautions in case there were other people around but in their own homes where no-one could interrupt them. 

Slumping down on the sofa, Rachel waited patiently for Gill to bring the bottle and glasses. For once, she wasn't even interested in drinking, all she wanted was to spend sometime with Gill – it had been a long day without getting half a minute to talk with her. 

“So...how was your day? Have you made any progress?” Gill enquired as she walked towards the couch before taking a seat at one end. 

“None at all, purely because Mitch won't follow my instinct though. He's worried that if he listens to me and I'm wrong, he's gonna get in trouble for it.” Rachel responded, leaning to grab her glass of red wine from the coffee table. 

“Your instinct on what? It's basic door-to-door, I'm not gonna get at him for knocking on the wrong door now am I!” 

“It's not that...you're going to think I'm crazy. Look, we gave up on Banderas as soon as his alibi was proven but just because it wasn't him directly doesn't mean he wasn't behind it. I've got a funny feeling about a lad who spends a lot of time around the neighbourhood – seems to hang around with kids a lot like Banderas but he lives nowhere near here.” Rachel explained.”Why would he come all of the way across town to hang around with some of his mates – it seems a bit pointless if you ask me, like there must be a better reason for him to bike ten odd miles.”

“You may be on to something but I am not in the mood to talk work right now so I am ordering you to stop thinking about that bloody case!” Gill teased before pulling Rachel towards her, she put her own feet up on to the couch and tugged the younger girl on to her lap. 

Bailey turned her head shyly and planted a small peck on Murray's lips, she then turned until her entire body was facing Gill – holding her body weight so she towered over her slightly.   
Leaning in again, lips collided and hands moved rapidly – first they were on her waist, then they were on her butt, then one was around her neck and the other sat on the small of Rachel's back, tugging her closer until there was no space between them. Mere seconds past and there were clothes flying through the air, being yanked off in the desperate search for bare skin. Rachel was down to her underwear when Gill turned the tables and flipped her over, smirking to herself as she looked down at Rachel's tan body much like she was about to ravish it.

“Now you be a good girl and stay still, and no talking if you can manage it.” Gill whispered sensually before beginning to stroke her way down Rachel's body, her mouth following in suit. 

There was a nip at her jugular, then her collarbone – moving further down Gill traced a thin teasing line down Bailey's cleavage with her finger. She moved her hands to rest in the curve of the woman's waist as she bent down to dip her tongue just inside her navel. Gill traced the edge softly before plunging deep inside – she repeated this a couple of times before shifting her attention to the prominent hip bones. 

She nipped at one gently and Rachel's entire body shuddered as she thrust against Gill's mouth. Stroking gently at the contour of the bone, small humming sounds could be heard before Gill rolled her eyes. 

“Thought I told you to be quiet kid, one more chance or you're finished.” She slid her fingers slowly up Rachel's inner thigh, lingering terrifyingly close to where they were need, her DC hissed through her teeth and Gill could feel her heart pounding through her skin. “Looks like I'll have to keep you quiet myself if you can't behave Bailey.” 

Her plush, pink lips covered Rachel's own and opened to her, the younger woman's tongue plunged in to familiar territory and she tugged at her partner possessively. Gill's hands moved upwards to rest on either side of Rachel's sharp and contoured face, she could spend hours kissing her – it was as though she lost all sense of time and self.   
Before she could acknowledge what was happening, Rachel was unzipping her skirt swiftly, forcing it downwards and sliding her hand under the tights and underwear that Gill was wearing. Rachel let her fingers rest against the warm, patch of skin, moving them slowly and sensually to tease her lover. 

“Jesus kid.” Gill wrapped her fingers around the back of Rachel's neck and tugged her backwards so she was underneath, her other hand wandered downwards and took refuge of the curve of Bailey's buttcheek. Rachel slipped a finger inside without warning and Gill had to bite her lip to keep from moaning, there was a smug expression on the face she was looking at. 

Adding another finger, Rachel started to build up a rhythm and thrusting deep inside of Gill – she arched her back and forced against the pressure for more friction. The younger woman was shockingly talented and it took her only minutes to satisfy Gill. Rachel had agile digits, pounding the very core of Gill while her other hand gently rubbed her clitoris. Gill gasped as she felt the other woman hit her g-spot with great force and Rachel gave a knowing look before pinching at her clit and tipping her over the edge. 

Rachel put a hand behind Gill's head and held her as she rode out the aftershocks, placing a small kiss on her forehead, now sheathed with sweat. Gill was beautiful when she came, Rachel found nothing more pleasurable than seeing the woman she had fallen in love with in such a euphoric state. 

“Fuck you're good.” Gill breathed out, laughing at the smirk on Rachel's face. “And you know it, you smug bastard.”


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, it was Rachel who woke first – she was held tightly in Gill's embrace and their limbs were intertwined closely. She could smell the musky Chanel perfume, the slight lavender scent of the lingering air freshener and just the natural scent of the woman laid beside her – it infused in her nostrils and sent shivers down her spine. 

If she could stay there in that moment of perfection for the rest of time, she would just so she could be with the woman she had loved for so long with nothing other than the two of them to consider. Leaning over to look at the clock, she noticed it was coming up to 6o'clock and they had to be in by eight so she eased herself round to face Gill and placed a small peck on her lips.

“Up you get beautiful, time for work!” Rachel whispered softly against the skin of the woman's cheek. In response she got a slight groan before being pulled tighter towards her lover, smirking at the way she was being treated similarly to a soft toy. “Oi! Wake up Nancy Drew.”

“Can't we just call in sick?” Gill groaned half-heartedly as she stretched slightly and cautiously opened her eyes. 

“Excuse me, did you just offer me paid leave for no good reason? Your SIO skills are slipping, lady!” Rachel smirked, stroking the length of Gill's bare arm up and down. “You're looking gorgeous today Godzilla – now I'm going to shower, and you're not joining me!” 

Gill shot her some puppy-dog eyes but Rachel wriggled out of her grasp, proud of her own defiance and headed towards the door. She'd spent the last three years of her career fighting against this woman's hold over her but she had never regained much immunity. 

After a quick shower to make sure she looked presentable and un-shagged for work, Bailey headed downstairs where she found Gill making breakfast wearing nothing but a robe. Creeping up behind her, she placed a hand on either side of her waist and placed a kiss on her shoulder – Gill leant back in to her embrace and rested her head lazily on Rachel's collarbone. 

While Gill nipped upstairs to get ready for work, Rach' continued to prepare breakfast and checked her phone for the first time in almost 12 hours. As soon as she turned it on, she freaked out when she saw the 26 missed calls and 34 texts from Janet – the blood drained from her face and she immediately dialled the number. 

“Hello?” Janet answered on the first ring, it must have been urgent. “Rachel is that you? Where the hell have you been? Why aren't you answering your phone, I was so damn worried!”

“Calm down, sorry I turned it off. What's happened? Something's wrong isn't it!” Rachel replied frantically, lingering by the kitchen door to make sure Gill didn't give away her location. 

“It's okay, erm...Taisie has appendicitis. I took her to A&E late last night and they're doing the operation this morning. It's all fine, just can you tell Gill that I won't be in to work today. I'd tell her myself only she isn't answering her phone.” Janet responded urgently as though she was trying to reassure herself as well as Rachel. 

Murray was making her way down the stairs and humming quite loudly, so the younger woman held the receiver to her shoulder and made a violent hushing noise. 

“Yeah, she should be fine with it. I'll tell her as soon as I get in to work, don't worry about it. Again sorry I didn't have my phone on. Give my love to Taisie and I might come round tonight to make sure everything went okay if I get a chance. I have to go and get ready for work but I'll talk to you later on, okay?” 

“Yeah sure pal, bye then.” Janet hung up the phone and Rachel breathed a sigh of relief shooting an accusing look at Gill. 

“What is it, kid?” Gill questioned, coming over and placing a comforting hand against her DC's cheek.

“Nothing too serious, Janet's taking today off because Taisie's in hospital. I almost had a bloody heart attack though!” She exclaimed, Gill pulled her close and held her there, calming her gently before placing a kiss on her earlobe and pulling back to see her face. 

They ate breakfast and gathered their things before giving each other one last kiss for the day and walking out of the front door.

“Crap!” Gill's loud voice seemed out of place in the quiet of the early morning and Rachel's head whipped round quickly out of instinct. “I have no petrol – like literally I have enough to get me to the end of the drive. I don't have time to go to the service station though. Bugger!” 

“Calm down, you can come with me. Just say you called me because your car wouldn't start and you couldn't be bothered to wait around for an engineer., it's fine Boss! Don't worry.” Rachel replied and walked around to open the passenger door courteously. 

The older woman walked hesitantly towards the car before sitting down plainly and smiling slightly. 

“Thanks Sherlock, I really appreciate it.” The two headed to work together and they grinned inwardly at how they were driving to work in the same car like a couple ought to, both of them equally pleased at the prospect.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a tad short but that's because I wanted this in the storyline but I didn't at all enjoy writing it - probably going to be a longer next chapter though.

Rachel was walking through the streets of what could be described as the roughest area of Manchester, she had Mitch with her because Janet wasn't in and Gill refused to let her go out alone. They were at risk, of course they were but with Mitch to protect her – Rachel didn't feel to intimidated by the lads in Nike and Adidas. 

“This is the right one – the pack leader as far as we know.” Rachel said aloud as she stood by the fencepost with the big, brawny cop beside her. “Let's get this over and done with and try not to get killed.”

She knew that there was never going to be any chance of an amicable arrest so she went in all guns blazing, banging on the door before insisting that Mitch kicked it in. There was a certain thrill she felt in these situations – she knew it was her naivete, she'd never experienced first hand any awful encounters with criminals.   
“Are you Leon Banderas?” She questioned, looking at the man who had retreated in to the back corner of the room. It took her a moment to notice the large blade in his hand, she automatically took a step back and re-evaluated her approach. “DC Mitchell, could you please help me to detain this gentleman? Mr. Banderas, if you have nothing to hide then no-one needs to get hurt, just come down to the station with us.”

Before more than a second had passed he had launched himself towards what appeared to be the back door of the house. Rachel ran after him, knowing that she could easily keep the pace of an over-weight man in his forties. 

“I'll take the other side!” Mitch called, before heading back towards the entrance of the house. 

Bailey was chasing him down the street, advancing on him swiftly when she noticed the man stood on the corner with his hands in his pockets staring at her suspiciously. She was less than ten feet away and even if she tried to stop, she'd need more distance than that. Instead she tried to pick up the pace but as soon as she passed the man in the black leather jacket, veering a little too close, she felt it – the stone-cold metal as it touched her skin. 

It took a moment for her to register what had happened but then she felt the metal inside of her, it was a quick jab and it was over in seconds. She knew the only thing for her to do if she had any chance of survival was to keep running so Rachel forced herself to run another fifty yards before slowing to a walk, then a limp, then almost a crawl before giving up and sinking to the ground. 

“DC Bailey, Weston Road, Moston, I've been stabbed, need back up and medical assistance.” She spoke over the radio, struggling to maintain a breathing pattern. She pulled out her phone and tried to work it with her left hand while forcing her right on to the stab wound in her ribs – she just managed to dial the number and get it up to her ear before she would've dropped it. 

“Boss? It's Bailey, I've been stabbed – already called for backup, I just-”

“What?! Rachel! Where are you? What happened?!” Gill shouted over the phone and it put a smile on Rachel's face to hear her that worried about her.

“Gill, calm down – if I make it, then I make it, if I don't then tell Janet and Alison and all the kids that I love them, and I love you.” The last three words were choked out over the pain of the blood she was losing, she could feel that she was going to pass out and she knew she had to hold on. “Goodbye.”

She dropped the phone to the floor and used all her strength to put pressure on the wound, she wasn't ready to die – not yet. 

That was when she saw Mitch running down the street, but he didn't look worried...or even shocked. He paused when he got to her but didn't bend down to her or show any interest in her injury. 

“Mitch the Snitch, remember? Well, I was a bit more than that, eh Sherlock?” The way the words rolled off his tongue so spitefully sent chills through Rachel. That was all he said...and then he ran. 

She could feel the life slipping out of her and just as she heard the sirens, she let her eyes flicker shut.


	8. Chapter 8

Gill abandoned her desk and took one of the cars to the hospital – she had been far beyond the speed limit but she was beyond giving a damn. 

As she pulled in to the hospital car park, she rang Janet on her mobile and gave her a quick summary of what she knew – she wasn't going in to details when she needed to be inside with Rachel. 

“DC Rachel Bailey, she's been stabbed – should be here by now?” The receptionist looked at her blankly for a second before typing the name in to the computer and nodding. 

“Yeah, she got in three minutes ago – they're in Emergency 2 prepping her for surgery.” The young blonde woman behind the desk pointed half-heartedly towards the corridor on her right and Gill ran down it. 

She saw the sign over the door and ran straight in, there were doctors and nurses swarming around and she began to shake slightly. 

“You shouldn't be in here, you aren't authorized unless you're family.” A stern-faced doctor said to her as she walked towards the trolley. “Or your name is Gill, that might shut her up while we work on her.” He'd added the comment sarcastically but the older woman barged straight past him to see Rachel. 

“Rachel, you're going to be fine. Okay? Everything's going to be okay because you aren't bloody leaving me! I won't let you!” Gill spoke half-heartedly, there were tears in her eyes and she was trying to reassure herself just as much as the woman in front of her. 

“She's not fully conscious – well she is, but she's delirious due to the blood loss.” The nurse explained, switching out the empty bags of blood for new ones. “We're going to take her up to surgery to fix the damage, she's just lucky it was the right side and not the left or she'd probably be dead.”

Gill knew that her having a breakdown wouldn't help anyone, she left the doctors to do what they could and watched as she was taken in to the lift. She walked outside and stood in the same place she had stood with Rachel after Janet had been stabbed. This time it was her acting hysterically and there was no-one else to support her but she had to let go, she didn't have control over it. 

“Holy crap, Gill are you okay?” She rose her head to see Janet, keeping her cool – taking on the role that she once had. 

“Well, they're um...they're taking her up to theater, they say that if the operation goes well she'll be fine but due to the blood loss, there's an increased chance of complications.” Gill explained, speaking quickly before sobbing again. “God Jan', what are we going to do if we lose her? Seriously, she might be a bit of a knob at times but she keeps us all together.” 

There were tears streaming down her cheeks and Janet had never seen her boss like this, not even close. 

“She'll be fine, we have to count on her being fine okay? We'll hear more news soon, but first lets get you inside so you can have a coffee.” Janet spoke softly, rubbing her friend's shoulder sympathetically and turning to usher her inside. 

“Just let me smoke this first.” Gill said, pulling the cigarette out of her jacket pocket and lighting it. “Rachel gave me it this morning and said it was just in case today became particularly crap – this is the definition of crap.”

Gill inhaled sharply, revelling in the way the smoke intoxicated her lungs. As she smoked down to the filter, she stubbed it out against the wall beside her and put it back in her pocket. 

The two of them sat for hours in the cafe, waiting for news to come through the door. Janet went outside multiple times to call Ade and tell him to keep the girls for the night. It had been almost 7 hours when the petite, brunette nurse came through the door calling for relatives of Rachel Bailey. 

“Shit!” Janet shouted, as though she had just made the world's biggest mistake. “You go ahead and find out what you can. I've got to go and call bloody Alison – she doesn't even know yet!” 

Gill walked hesitantly towards the woman who appeared to be even smaller than her, not wanting to hear the outcome unless it was good. 

“Rachel Bailey?” The nurse questioned, looking up at Gill with an expression that was difficult to interpret – in response, she received a curt nod followed by a pleading look of fear. “We're pleased to tell you that she's come out of surgery well, we managed to salvage most of the tissue and she should be absolutely fine inside a few weeks. I can take you to see her if you like.”

Murray began to follow the woman swiftly down the corridor and found herself in a large room that looked as though it ought to be filled with beds, yet there was Rachel alone. 

She looked peaceful, there were no scrapes visible – there was no change in her appearance apart from the tube down her throat and the pale blue gown which washed out her skin tone. From a distance, most would think she was sleeping, there was no evidence visible that she had been stabbed. 

“The anaesthetic should wear off soon but she'll probably still be a bit drowsy.” The nurse stated simply before leaving the room to tend to other patients. 

“God, what were you thinking?! I always told you that you shouldn't get involved in those situations! Silly girl, are you trying for another suspension?” Gill exclaimed, but the humour in her voice was false and faded. “Rachel, I was terrified. What you said on the phone, I thought you meant – I thought you were going to die there and then. Don't ever do that to me again, kid.” 

Barely ten minutes had passed when Alison ran in to the room and came to her sister's side. Gill knew it was only right for her to give the woman some alone time to come to terms with what had happened so she gave a tight squeeze to Rachel's hand and went to sit on the seats just outside of the door. 

And that was where she stayed, without moving for the next four hours.


	9. Chapter 9

“Rachel just woke up, she's asking for you.” Gill heard Alison before she saw her, she jumped up out of her seat and burst in to the room, moving swiftly over to the side of the bed. 

“Hey kid, you feeling alright?” She tried her best to behave normally in front of the doctors and the nurses and Rachel's sister but in her eyes there was so much relief and Rachel was so happy to see the raw emotion that Gill was conveying. 

“Hi Boss, you gonna get at me about taking leave again?” Rachel asked with a failed attempt at humour, all that Gill could do in response was roll her eyes.   
“Really Sherlock, how are you doing? The police will want to come and get a statement from you soon so I need to make sure you're really okay.” She received a subdued nod – it was obvious that she was resting her voice after recently being extubated. 

Gill sat there with Alison, one on either side – neither saying a word – for hours on end until the police arrived. She gave a quick look to Rachel to make sure she was ready for this and nodded at Alison. 

“Don't worry, I'll stay with her the entire time, she won't be alone.” Gill spoke candidly and waved in the uniforms. As they entered the door, one was about to open their mouth but didn't get a chance. “I'm the SIO, I'm the reason she was there, I'm staying.”

Rachel was talking normally, she appeared to be slightly more shaken up but she could remember what happened clear as anything. 

“Mitch.” She stated plainly, meeting Gil's eye line before continuing. “He was in on it, he must have pre-warned them. He ran off just before the ambulance arrived.” Gill's jaw dropped and she couldn't quite believe what she'd just heard – Mitch had worked in MIT for almost twenty years.

The rest of the interview went off without too much trouble, they only took about an hour before they prepared to walk out the door.   
Alison was about to come back in to the room when Gill rose to meet her and urged her back out of the door. 

“Look, do you want to go and get a few hours sleep, change of clothes, see your kids? I'm going to stay here anyway and I've got no reason to go home so you may as well take the opportunity.” Gill suggested, there were dark rings under the woman's eyes and she couldn't tell if they were fatigue or stress. 

Alison left with a weak nod, promising to be back in a few hours and insisting Gill called her if there was any change at all. When Gill walked back in to the room, Rachel was asleep and she grinned slightly before taking the opportunity for herself to rest her eyes for a few minutes. 

She jumped when she woke, unnerved by the less-than-familiar surroundings and saw Rachel watching her fondly.

Rachel smirked slightly at the bewildered expression on her boss' face before reaching over to take hold of her hand. 

“Just to warn you, I think I might have dropped us in it when I woke up earlier.” 

“You think I bloody care, someone's going to catch on that there's some reason I don't leave the hospital until you're discharged.” Gill exclaimed, holding tightly to Rachel's hand which seemed cold in comparison to her own. 

“Gill, they're going to check through my phone history – I need to know what you want me to do!” Rachel exclaimed slightly.

“Really Rach', if you want to tell them the truth then go ahead. I'll be wherever you need me to be.” 

Gill leant in to give a light kiss on the forehead but instead found herself on Rachel's lips, she hung on them nervously and lingered tenderly for a second before pulling back. 

“You know you'll have to go home at some point right? I won't let you go without sleep just for me.” Rachel whispered, staring at her thumbs as she rolled them over one another. 

“I don't care about that, kid. I'll get Sammy to bring fresh clothes for me when he can, I'm not leaving until you are.” Gill replied, raising her eyes to meet the younger woman's. “And don't think you can change my mind.” 

A minute later, Alison entered the room looking flustered – followed closely by Janet – and holding a large bag which she thrust on the cabinet by the door. There was an apologetic look on her face when she glanced towards Gill and she seemed out of breath as though she had been running.

“Sorry I took so long, me 'usband got called in to work and I couldn't call a babysitter in't middle of the night so I had to stay for a while. You can take a break and nip home if you want...now that I'm back.” She spoke gently while she watched lovingly over her sister's relaxed form. 

“Honestly, it's fine. Like I said before, I'm staying here – didn't even realize you'd been gone that long.” Gill hadn't bothered to look at the clock when she woke but glancing at it now, she realized that the blonde woman had been gone for almost 6 hours. 

There was a sympathetic look on Alison like she was willing Gill to take some time for herself but Gill had been the one who had the breakdown this time – now she had to put on a front for Rachel, as well as herself. Janet grinned wildly at her friend teasing her about how she trying to copy her actions just a little too closely. 

They all sat around for a couple of hours while chatting to Rachel normally, barely acknowledging the fact that she was in a hospital bed. It wasn't until the nurse came in that they remembered where they were, she walked over to change the bag that was hanging beside the bed and grinned optimistically at the four women like everyone in hospitals did. 

“For the first 24 hours we let visitors stay for as long as they like, especially in cases like these but tonight only one of you will be allowed to stay in here with her, you can decide between yourselves obviously.” She offered sympathetically, catching the eyeline of the woman with sharp features who didn't look like there could be an ounce of emotion within her body. 

Gill knew that Alison would be the one to stay in the room with her most likely but that didn't mean she couldn't sit right outside the door until she left. They each gave an understanding nod and an awkward silence laced the atmosphere as she pottered around checking the various machines.


	10. Chapter 10

“Really Gill, you might as well go home – I'll give you a lift and I'll bring you back first thing in the morning. You'll have to come back to work at some point though – I know that seems like a harsh way to put it but we're never going to get justice for Rach' without you there.” Janet explained hesitantly, looking up at her boss with wide eyes.

“Janet, I can sleep here just as well. I'll call Rob and tell him that he's in charge until I come back and I trust you to keep things running for me. I just can't go back there yet – I feel so responsible for what's happened and I know that it isn't my fault but the facts don't make me feel any better.” Gill spoke gently, looking through the windows at Rachel lying there, it wasn't as though she could tell Janet the real reason she was such a state. 

“Not meaning to sound biased but how come you didn't go to pieces over me like this? Getting favourites are we Miss Murray?” There was a teasing aspect to Janet's voice and she smirked as she said it as though she was trying to lighten the mood. 

“I couldn't when you got stabbed, Janet. Everyone was else was busy going to pieces – Ade, Rachel, Andy, the entire team – I didn't have time to have a meltdown, there was no-one for me to lean back on because you were in here so I couldn't rely on you to keep things running while I went in to shock!” Gill felt guilty about the way she had reacted, Janet had almost lost her best friend and she was the one who had to be strong in the situation. 

Scott gave a small nod of understanding before placing her hand sympathetically on Gill's shoulder and walking around the corner, towards the large and buzzing waiting area.

Rachel spent almost her entire evening watching Gill through the window directly opposite her bed, she could just see the top Gill's head from where she was sat on the seats. Alison was asleep in minutes and anyone knew she would much rather be at home in bed – she was here out of obligation, not because she actually felt the need to be. 

What was really weighing on Rachel's mind was the way that Gill had barely moved since she'd arrived – all she'd had was half a cup of tea that Janet got from the cafe. 

“Hey, what are you thinking about Sis? You've got a right serious look across your face!” Alison said plainly, Rachel blinked abruptly as she realized her sister had woken. 

“Nothing really, just what's happened. You know you can go home if you want, you're not going to miss anything and it's not like there's much for you to do.” Rachel stated, trying to divert the urgency in her voice – Ali would take offence if she thought she wasn't wanted there, no matter how harmless the intention was.   
“What is it between you two? This time a month ago, you were calling her Godzilla and saying you hated her and now you're tied at the bloody hip! What's happened to change so much?” There was a degree of serious concern in her voice and Rachel had to restrain from rolling her eyes. 

“I guess it's just everything that happened on Friday but even before that, since my disciplinary – she was just, there for me...a lot more than I expected her to but seeing her on Friday really allowed all of us to see a different side to her.” Rachel responded. “We saw the Gill Murray that can't face the world.” 

There was a simplistic candor to her tone that really struck a chord with Alison, her sister was right – there was nothing she could do there and it was so obvious that Rachel yearned for the company of her colleague. She smirked slightly at her sister who had not so long ago hated the woman she was referring to with such kindness before rising to leave, leaving a peck on her sister's forehead before exiting the room. 

Alison turned to look at the woman who was staring half-heartedly at the magnolia wall and smiled slightly at how apparent the worry was on her face – Godzilla had found some compassion, despite her reputation. 

“I don't know what that woman said to you in that car, but she's turned you in to a different person.” The blonde woman stated, looking at Gill. “I'm off home, she'll only sleep anyway and you're insisting on staying so there's no point in two of us being here. I'll see you in a few hours anyway.”

Sauntering around the corner, she entered the hubbub of the main entrance leaving her little sister in what she knew to be safe hands. 

“Hey, is she alright?” Gill questioned softly as she sat down in the generic hospital-blue chair which was swiftly becoming a second home to her. 

“Oh, I think she just realizes that there's nothing she can do for me. I sort of said that you were here for me and that I didn't need both of you every second of the day – she didn't think in to it though.” Rachel offered, reaching to take a hold of the older woman's hand and rubbing her thumb along the back of it. 

“You know...you can tell her what you like. I was planning to be cautious about this...for both of our sakes but after this, what's happened I mean. I no longer give a monkeys Rachel...your Sergeant's exams are through so I can't be called biased on your portfolio, there's no professional reasoning against it anymore.” Gill came out with, like it was nothing shocking but the look across Rachel's face said otherwise. 

“Christ! Five days ago, you were terrified to even do this privately, what's changed so much?!” Rachel asked, loosening her grip on Gill's hand as she spoke.

“You got stabbed! That's what Rachel, I told Janet earlier that I'm taking some time off. When have I ever taken unscheduled time off, eh?!” Gill gnawed at her lips nervously, rubbing at her own temple as she thought. “I guess it took this to make me realize that what I feel for you means more than any bloody job or reputation.” There was a solemn ring to the way she expressed those few words, like she was breathing them out without thinking. 

Bailey tugged on her hand and pulled her in to a hug, allowing Murray's head to rest against her shoulder. Peppering small kisses against the side of their entwined hands and sobbing lightly with joy. Gill moved to rest her head on the top of the brunette's head, letting tears drop down her cheeks as she revelled in the moment.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry, i went to sitc this weekend and had an incredible time but didn't get an opportunity to update or even write, will work fast to make up for lost time though:)

The doctor came in to the room at 8AM to check on Rachel, she was still slightly dozy having just woken from a few hours sleep. The red-headed young woman in the office wear did not speak much, she hushed comments to the quiet nurse who had been in every couple of hours since midnight. 

“You really ought to get something to eat, I know you haven't moved more than 10 feet since Miss Bailey came around, honestly the cafe is just a few yards down the hall. You could be there and back in minutes.” The petite and seemingly shy nurse offered as she prepared to leave the room, all she gained in reply was a slight shake of the head from Gill. 

“Gill, I'll be fine – go on, you can get me something as well because I'm bloody starving!” Rachel complained, looking pleadingly at her...well she didn't know how to refer to Gill really...anyway.

“You should've said, kid! I'll go get you a sandwich and some crisps or something – no caffeine though. I like you when you're all relaxed and not hyper!” She rose and quickly went to grab a large stash of food from across the corridor which luckily – served much better food than the stuff for the patients.

Rachel giggled as Gill entered the room, looking at the amount of food that was held in the arms of the older woman – she looked as though she were delivering food to the entire ward and it put a smile on the detective's face to see her so happy. 

“Enough to feed an army there!” 

“Well you said you were hungry and I didn't want be getting up again in an hour to go and get more! May as well get us stocked up!” Gill responded lightly, smirking as she dropped the pile of food in Rachel's lap. 

The two began a feast and ate as much as they could handle, Rachel leaned back in the bed and rested her hand self-consciously on her waist and looking at the bloating of her taught, flat stomach. She'd barely moved in days and her body was used to a strict exercise regime as well as a lot of tiring work – it was beginning to show when she looked at her body and it intimidated her. 

“Alison should be here soon, she'll have dropped the kids off at school by now.” Raising her head to look at her boss, Rachel nodded – glancing enviously at the slight yet muscular body of Gill. 

Over the past few days there had become a comfortable ease between the two of them, something that meant that they could be together without there being any questions asked and it was relieving to the both of them. 

“You know, I should probably go back to work after the weekend – I'm shitting myself though because I've forgotten how to function without you there. I mean I know I'm gonna have to get used to it but it'll be so tough.” Gill came out with blandly, picking at the nail polish on her thumb. 

“If you aren't ready then don't go back but you should probably start to get back to reality – like going home at night and not spending every moment here. I'll still be here every day, it's not like I'm going anywhere.” Rachel responded, taking a hold of the older woman's hand. “But don't allow yourself to be rushed in to anything, Janet only wants you back because she thinks it's what best for you – really you have to judge that for yourself though.” 

A couple of minutes later, Alison walked in wearing a navy blue sweater and jeans looking like she had just done the school run. She grinned and said a quick hello before taking a seat beside the bed and starting to chat amicably with the two of them. 

Gill had never expected that she would get on with Rachel's family, they seemed like the tight-knit, comedic type but really Alison seemed to be quite an interesting person. She wasn't being overbearing and obnoxious in the way she protected and looked after her sister and that surprised Gill considerably, there was a degree of trust that had never been achieved within the Murray family unit. 

“Both the kids are staying with friends tonight so I really do insist on staying and I can tell that you're absolutely shattered, love. I promise you that she's in safe hands for a couple of hours and she'll be absolutely fine.” Alison spoke cheerfully, smiling at Godzilla as she spoke before receiving a weak nod. 

Rachel was pleased in a way that for once Gill was putting herself first because as much as she loved feeling as though she was cared about, it mattered more to her that Gill was okay. 

The three of them had an amicable day, picking at the remaining food occasionally and acquainting themselves in the somewhat familiar environment. It had been a long time since Rachel had just had a friendly chat with anyone, especially without any alcohol – that thought depressed her slightly to know that she had become so inverted she didn't speak properly to anyone anymore. 

“First thing I'm doing when I get out of this place is going down the Grapes for a drink, just to establish that now.” Rachel stated plainly, glancing at the women on either side of her with a defiant look on her face as they both laughed at her knowingly.

Janet joined them in the evening, still wearing office clothes and she appeared to have come straight from work. There were deep, dark rings under her eyes and they made Gill feel excessively guilty for the weight that she had put on her friend without warning. 

“I sent everyone home early, we brought Banderas in to custody this morning and I've had him in with the tier fives, he's seriously tough to crack and I don't know what we're going to resort to. I mean the evidence is weak, we need to get a confession if we have any hope in court and we can't pin the assault charge on him until you can give us a statement. No-one was really in the mood for a late one anyway and we've made no progress really.” Janet spoke, huffing as she landed slobbishly in the chair she had pulled over.

“I'll be back in the office on Monday and you can cool the investigation over the weekend – it's not like there's any rush for a conviction. He ran which already indicates his guilt and we have an unquestionable first-hand account. Don't stress over it, just make sure nothing too drastic happens before I come back okay?” Gill responded solemnly with a cool and sympathetic tone. 

Rachel felt bad for not being more help in the investigation but she hadn't even been visited by the force yet, she knew that they were giving her special treatment...even though she didn't need it. 

That night at half nine, Gill got in the car with Janet and went back to her house, it felt even more empty than usual knowing that the person she wanted there was in a hospital bed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's a tad short - sorry about that but there wasn't much to add after the bomb had been dropped.

Both women had laid awake almost the entire night, anyone would tell you that sleeping alone after sharing a bed with the person you love is the hardest thing in the world. 

Gill rose before the sun had even risen, there was no point in laying awake when she could just as well be doing something. She took a quick, hot shower before throwing enough clothes for the weekend in a bag as well as some necessaries and a couple of Rachel's favourite chocolates.

It wasn't even seven o'clock when she was ready to leave the house – she pottered around trying to find things to do while she was at home but couldn't keep herself occupied for more than 20 minutes so made the decision to leave there and then. 

By the time she had arrived at the hospital, found a parking space for the car which she noticed Janet had so kindly delivered to her house and got inside the building – it was getting on for eight o'clock. 

As she walked towards the door, she noticed that Rachel had already noticed her arrival and was smiling at her happily. 

“Morning!” Gill whispered doing her best not to wake Alison who was still napping comfortably in the chair, as she entered the room. “Feeling alright?”

Rachel stretched out her arms indicating for Gill to come towards her before pulling her into a hug – the older woman did her best to make sure the hug would appear amicable just in case Alison woke up. The detective in the bed did not show the same restraint and placed a small, lingering kiss on Gill's lips as she pulled away from her, and that was when she heard her sister begin to stir. 

“You're here early, the doctor hasn't even been round yet!” The blonde sister said as she realized Murray was now in the room, looking up at her with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I couldn't sleep so didn't see the point in sitting at home doing nothing, it's five to anyway so they'll be in any minute.” The DCI responded gently, placing the small overnight bag down beside her designated chair. 

She pulled out her phone and noticed that she had a new message from Janet:   
Mitch called Andy asking about jobs @ Synd5, idiot. Traced the call, bringing him in later x

She locked her phone and put it on silent before slipping it inside her bag and turning her attention to Rachel.

A stern-faced man walked in to the room wearing a long, white jacket and glasses – he picked up the chart that was hung from the end of the bed and scanned bemusedly over it. 

“She's healing well, there's been no serious damage because the wound did stay superficial. The only risk there ever really was to worry about was blood loss so she should be able to go home by this time next week but she'll have to have someone stay with her for at least the first two weeks.” He looked up with a fake smile across his face as he spoke, looking across at the three women sat there. 

They all three uttered words of gratitude before he left the room swiftly and made his way further down the corridor. 

“You'll have to come and stay with me Rach' because I can't leave the kids for two entire weeks with only their dad – you alright with that?” Alison spoke cautiously, not wanting to hit any nerves. 

Emma turned to throw a questioning glance at Gill and there was a deep meaning in the way she met her eyeline. The younger woman received a small, hesitant nod before she slid her hand gently down the bed to meet Gill's and switched her gaze back towards her sister. 

“I don't need to come and stay with you, now shush. No talking, just listening, alright?” Rachel stated curtly before feeling a tight and reassuring squeeze of her hands that made her feel certain about what she was doing. “I won't be staying with you because I'm seeing someone...so I'll be staying with them. It'll be easier for me to heal in a less hectic environment, easier for you to have less to worry about and it'll be...it'll be easier for Gill because I'll be closer to her.”   
Alison's face broke out in to a grin and knawed at her top lip in a way which made her appear excited in a sense and the reaction was a shock to both of the other women in the room. 

“I bloody knew it, I could tell there was a better reason for her to be spending all of her time here than just because you're colleagues. I'm so pleased, how long's this been going on? I noticed you'd been bitching about her less to me recently Rach' but I never bloody expected you to be telling me this!” Alison exclaimed and the two police officers giggled at her a little, it was so sweet to see that she was more than accepting of the news. 

“Not that long, but...it's escalated quickly and I'd much rather be there than being waited on hand and foot by you and the kids.” Rachel responded softly, smiling at the sheer degree of happiness that was apparent on her big sister's face.

Gill reached to place a peck on Rachel's forehead as a solemn promise in her mind that it would be her waiting hand and foot on Rachel rather than anyone else.


	13. Chapter 13

Later that afternoon, Janet walked in looking pleased with herself and took a seat beside Gill.

“Guess who admitted to disclosure of police information and assisting Banderas today?” Janet offered excitedly, looking gleefully at her best friend with a shimmering pride in her eyes. 

“You got a confession from him? I never expected Mitch to crack under pressure, not ever!” Gill exclaimed, looking pleased to have that weight off her mind.   
It wasn't until Janet cut her glance to look away from Rachel that she noticed the way the two women were holding hands, gently rested against the chrome bars protruding the side of the bed. She didn't think anything of it and felt it wasn't her right to question it so she looked away but not before Rachel noticed her eyes linger for a moment longer than necessary. 

“Sorry Jan', complete mind blank and I forgot to even tell you about this.” The young brunette said, lifting her hand swiftly and bringing it's partner with it before allowing it to flop back against the linens of the bed. 

“Oh bugger! Good point, erm...Rachel?” The older woman chipped in before turning her head slightly. 

“Janet...say hello to LM – surprise!” Rachel exclaimed with a hesitant tinge in her throat, looking warily at the way her friend reacted. 

“WHAT?” Janet questioned angrily. “When you wouldn't tell me I assumed you had a good reason for it, but how could you keep something like this from me! We're supposed to be friends, all three of us and now I find out that the two of you have been keeping something like this from me for god knows how long! What is it? Can I not be trusted anymore or something, I want a proper explanation for why I wasn't told before now!” 

Fear flashed through Rachel's eyes at the way her friend had reacted in a way that Gill would never fail to notice, she took a moment to compose herself – throwing a quick glance towards Alison indicating that the three of them may need some time alone – and turned to meet Janet's gaze.

Alison exited the room quietly and walked in the direction of the cafe.

“Look, this isn't old news Janet! We've barely come to terms with this ourselves, I'm sorry if you feel that you've been left out of the loop but this whole thing began five minutes ago. We all have things that we want to keep to ourselves until the time is right, and now is the right time for us – okay? I swear there's been nothing that was intentionally kept from you but we just weren't entirely ready to let everybody know.” Gill responded, doing her best to not appear too protective over Rachel.

“I'm not everybody, I'm your best friend! Is this you two getting your own back for me not telling you about Andy? I thought better of you, you should know that I'd be nothing but pleased for the two of you!” Janet shouted, glancing angrily towards Rachel knowing that it was wrong of her to start an argument in an already tense situation. 

“Janet stop! If you're going to make this about you then I'd like you to leave because I'm stressed and I'm tired and I'm sore and I don't want to deal with people who are just going to act like I'm a child! We didn't tell you about it because it wasn't even a real thing until a week ago, you might be my best friend but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell you everything about me the second that it happens!” Rachel cried, with a redness blossoming across her cheeks and tears welling in her eyes.   
“You know what, I've had a long day working ten times harder than I get paid to! I'm covering for you Gill, holding Rob's hand because you hired a sergeant who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, working with two constables less than I'm supposed to have and dealing with a kid who had an operation three days ago! I'm going home and I'm going to sleep, We can have a civilised conversation about this tomorrow when I don't feel like I'm about to pass out from exhaustion!” Janet practically screamed before storming out of the door furiously. 

“I feel so bloody awful now, I hadn't even thought to ask about Taisie and I know that she's had a lot on her plate but it didn't sink in until now quite how much it had affected her.” Rachel whispered half-heartedly, salty drops of water running down the side of her nose and between her lips. 

“Hey, it's not your fault! You've had enough to deal with, she should have spoken to me if she was struggling. Not lashed out at you like that after everything that's happened.” Gill responded, raising to place a kiss on her partner's cheek and holding her softly while she cried.

Rachel and Gill both knew that Janet hadn't meant a word of what she'd said – there were days when their friend just got in a mood where she would have a go at anyone for the smallest thing and the next day they'd go on like nothing had happened. Anyone could tell when Janet was seriously angry with someone because she didn't act pissed off or anything, she just seemed like she was bored of having to deal with them anymore.

Alison walked back in a few minutes later with four cups of coffee, obviously she hadn't expected anyone to leave but she didn't bat an eyelid. After everything that her sister had been through, she wasn't going to waste any time questioning something that obviously mattered to her. 

“I'm going to get off home soon, the kids will be waiting for their dinner and I said I'd cook tonight.” Alison uttered kindly. “You two gonna be alright for a few hours?” The two police officers smiled at her fondly, loving the way that she had been so easily accepting of the two of them.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I disappeared for a couple of days, I was missing inspiration and I'm just trying to get through these chapters so Rach' can be discharged.

The next morning, Gill felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out. As she saw who it was from, she glanced over to Rachel's sleeping form and smiled knowingly. 

I'm sorry. I'll be there in a couple of hours so we can talk, J x 

It was only 7:29AM so Rachel wasn't likely to wake up for quite a while yet, Gill took the time to contemplate how much her life had changed in such a short time. After Dave, she'd never expected in a million years that she'd have another chance at falling in love but now it was easy for her to recognize that she'd just been looking in all of the wrong places. 

Ever since training college, she'd been trying to deny that she liked women because all she wanted was the generic home life – husband, kids, job. Rachel had been different though, it was like Gill didn't even need to acknowledge her gender because it didn't matter in the slightest. 

Rooting through her overnight bag, the DCI pulled out the chocolate she had packed and put them on the bedside cabinet – she scribbled a quick note on to the pad that was already there. 

Back soon beautiful, gone in search of food x

She picked up the large holdall and took it with her, sneaking quietly out of the room and heading for the toilets. It didn't take her long to dress herself, she splashed some water on her cheeks and ran a comb through her hair so she looked respectable then nipped to the cafe.

Rachel woke with a jump, unnerved by her surroundings for a moment before she came to her senses and realized where she was. It took her a moment to notice the note on the bedside cabinet – she picked it up and smiled to herself before laying back in bed and allowing herself to take a moment to consider what had happened over the past few days. 

Bailey knew that soon the doctor would be in to check her over as he did every morning and she also knew that soon enough Alison was going to turn up – possibly with the kids – to check up on her and make sure she was still here. 

In some ways, she was happy that Gill was going back to work because she knew it was the right thing for her to do. But on the other hand, she was horrendously jealous because all she wanted was to go back to her normal life. 

The DC picked up the bar of chocolate which she had noticed sitting beside the note, she opened the wrapper and started to nibble at the corner of it timidly.   
Rachel saw Gill coming back towards the room through the windows, holding two cups of what appeared to be coffee. A grin spread across her face as she took in Murray's beauty – admiring her boss in a way that only she knew how. 

“Good morning lovely!” Rachel said quietly, reaching out a hand to take one of the plastic cups from Gill. 

“Morning – I left a note just in case you woke up while I was gone.” Gill replied, smiling and planting a small kiss on the top of Bailey's head. “How you feelin'?”

“Sore, these stitches are getting really frustrating and it itches so damn much!” Rachel complained in her typical manner.

“Stop fussing – they'll be out soon enough kid!” It was then that the doctor walked in with an odd expression on his face that looked a little like regret and it instilled fear in both of the women. 

He entered the room slowly and gave a sympathetic smile before beginning to walk towards the bed. 

“I'm sorry to inform you...” The tall dark gentleman began, blinking solemnly. “that there has been a budgeting issue in the hospital – we don't have the beds to keep non-critical patients any longer than necessary so it's becoming apparent that you, Miss Bailey, may be discharged by Tuesday as opposed to Friday like we thought.”

There were looks of relief on both police officers faces as the words left his mouth, neither had assumed it would be something so minor. The doctor left the room without another word, obviously satisfied that they had taken the news well. 

“Alison called while I was in the café – said she was coming in at about 12 and that she might bring Molly with her.” Gill spoke as she placed her bag back on the floor, grinning widely at her lover. “You feeling up to more visitors than usual?” 

The only benefit of having a room to herself was that Rachel could have visitors at whatever time she liked during the day and the staff couldn't complain that she was interrupting the routine of the other patients. It made her feel like less of an invalid to know that even within the hospital, she still had a small sense of freedom. 

“Yeah, I'm fine! It'll be nice to see her – my niece that is – I never really make the time to go and catch up with her while I'm working.” Rachel replied in the knowledge that she had been outright neglecting her family because she was so happy in her work that she spent as much time as she could there.   
The two women had a relaxed morning for the most part – the brunette insisted on walking all the way to the bathroom to pee because she was 'trying to regain her independence' before she could leave. 

Gill stayed in the room while the nurse changed the dressing over the stab wound – it was the first time she had actually come face to face with it even though she had been able to imagine what it would look like. It sent a shiver down her spine to see the thick gash through the pristine, smooth skin of Rachel's stomach.   
“It's fine – it barely even hurts anymore Gill.” The taller woman offered reassuringly, squeezing at her partner's hand tightly with a smile on her face.


	15. Chapter 15

The rest of the weekend passed quickly...Janet apologized, Rachel and Gill forgave, life went on. 

When Monday morning rolled around, Gill was unprepared to head back to work. Walking in to the office for the first time in days, she took a deep breath and kept a hold of her self-restraint as she sat down at her desk, ready to start the day of work. 

It was an uneventful day at Syndicate 9, probably because Janet was doing her best to redirect all of the drama away from Gill so that she didn't have to deal with it on her first day back. Throwing herself back in at the deep end, Gill made sure to make as many decisions as she could and got on top of all the paperwork that had been piling up while she was gone. 

"Gill, you can go now if you want to - we're pretty much all finished away, there's some paperwork that needs doing but I can get Lee to sort that out. We both know where you really want to be and there's nothing for you to do here. Trust me, keeping up appearances doesn't matter in this office - we've all seen hell." Janet offered, smiling as she entered the SIO's office and slipped the glasses down the bridge of her nose. 

"If you're sure that there's nothing for me to do Janet, I'm taking a half day tomorrow so I'll feel bad if I bunk off early today! I'm setting a damn good example for the rest of you aren't I!" Gill joked half-heartedly, looking regrettably at the bottle of gin sitting in her desk drawer. Standing up to leave, Gill thanked Janet for acting as captain and left to head to the hospital. 

After a few minutes of driving, she arrived in the hospital car park and made her way to Rachel's room. Allison was there, already at the bedside, when Gill arrived and she smiled softly, rising to leave the room quietly. 

"Hey stranger." Rachel called, extending her arms towards Gill, reaching for her. "How was work?"

Gill lent down and planted a gentle kiss on the brunette's temple, slipping a piece of hair away from her eye before sliding down in to the seat that she had taken temporary possession of. Pursing her lips in a way that indicated it was better not to ask, she moved to rest her hand beside Rachel's on the bed and weakly rubbed her fingers across her palm. 

"I missed you." She whispered in to the cool atmosphere, lowering her eyes to the ground. "All day I kept looking over to your desk and expecting to see you sat there, it was horrible." 

Rachel squeezed her fingers tightly around Gill's hand and smiled softly, feeling the harshness in Gill's tone.

"I missed you too." The DC replied calmly, reassuring the older woman emotionally. The relationship was still weak, not in the 'We're liable to fall out any second' type of way but in the sense that neither of them were entirely affirmed in their feelings, or the reciprocation of them. 

The warmth of Gill's presence in the room put Rachel at ease, she was no longer chilled by the harsh air conditioning or the pathetic excuse for a blanket, heat emanated from Gill's petite frame. For hours the two women sat, comfortable in the company of each other and tinting the silence only with the occasional bout of light conversation. 

Excited at the prospect of leaving the hospital in only a few hours, Rachel had made sure that Allison had everything packed and ready to go as soon as the doctors said she was allowed to leave. When the nurse came to deliver Rachel's dinner, Rach looked at the meal before deciding against the idea and pushing it back towards the nurse.

"You need to eat it." The nurse replied sweetly, yet with a stern tone. "If you don't then the doctor might not discharge you tomorrow."

That was a lie of course but it was enough to make Rachel see reason and take the plate of dull, microwave meal back and begin to pick at it slowly. Gill rolled her eyes at the way that Rachel tried to hide the fact that none of the food actually entered her mouth but she couldn't blame her, hospital food had never tasted all that nice. 

The evening rolled around and Janet popped in with a grin on her face that seemed unnecessarily wide. 

"Guess who's been charged with murder and drug trafficking offences." She stated easily as she swanned it to the room unceremoniously, slipping in to the chair on the right side of the bed. 

"You got him? How?" Rachel questioned excitedly, already knowing that her suspicions from day one had been proven correct in one fell swoop, they'd only brought James Smith in to custody late yesterday afternoon and they'd already charged him. 

"Pete went in to interrogate him a la Bailey style and he cracked like a bloody nut." Janet exclaimed, obviously proud that the team had succeeded without their two best workers. "All it took was a 'We know that you were in Leon Banderas' house the night his brother was killed, while Leon wasn't.' and he admitted." 

"Bloody hell, that's a good turn out then! " Gill responded, evidently pleased with the outcome. "We should get going, I'm heading in early tomorrow and I'll sort everything out in the morning so I can be out by 11. Is it okay if we go, kid?" 

"Of course, babe, I'll see you in the morning - yeah? Cheers for bringing me the good news Jan', being stuck in here means I don't know half of what's going on." Rachel answered, kissing Gill gently and giving her a hug before sinking back in to the bed and watching the two women leave the room. 


	16. Chapter 16

Rachel woke early the next morning, she had gotten in to a habit of waking up before the rest of the hospital and having absolutely nothing to do for hours on end. Rising from the bed carefully, she slipped on the fresh set of clothes that were laid on the cabinet and spruced herself up. 

Waiting impatiently for the next hour, she sat on the bed playing Tetris on her phone. Eventually 8 o'clock rolled around and the doctor entered to check up on her and make sure everything was in working order. The look on his face told her that everything was fine, and as a trained investigator, she knew how to accurately read people's expressions. 

"So, I'm good to go?" She exclaimed relievedly, raising her eyes to meet the doctor's as he strolled to the foot of the bed calmly and gave her a reaffirming nod before signing the papers and leaving the room without saying another word.

The hours dragged on until it was 11 o'clock and Gill was due to arrive soon. Despite the circumstances, the idea of moving in with Gill had been rolling around in Rachel's head for days and she couldn't really believe that it was actually happening. After just a few weeks, it terrified Rachel to think that being thrown in the deep end might put an unwanted pressure on the relationship, after waiting so long for it to begin - she didn't want to be the reason it all fell apart. 

"All packed and ready, I see!" Gill called excitedly as she entered the small hospital room for what she hoped would be the last time in her life. All to eagerly, Rachel hopped out of the bed and hurried over to the older woman, almost falling over before Gill grabbed the underside of each arm and held her up, like a mother with an overeager toddler. "Careful!"

Rachel had a new found dependency on the people around her and she didn't feel comfortable with it, after years of living by herself and sorting everything out for herself, it was strange and unnerving to have to rely on other people. The thought that the way she was going to be living her life for the next months was going to mean she could no longer do all of the things she used to do, or at least not alone. Basic things like supermarket shopping or going to the gym, would all be things that she would have to let pass her by until she had the strength to learn them all over again. 

"Let's go home." The taller woman uttered gently, carefully moving away from Gill and picking up the bag closest to her, finding the weight surprisingly heavy and difficult for her to carry. 

Making their way slowly to the car, Gill helped Rachel in to the passenger seat before hurrying around to jump in to the right side of the vehicle herself. Carefully easing the seat belt over the still sore wound, she clipped it in to place and started the engine. 

Before too long had passed, they were slowly walking up Gill's front drive, stood close beside one another and keeping a painfully slow pace. Forcing themselves to keep to the orders of the doctor despite their desperation to rush things - Rachel because she felt she was ready and Gill because she was desperate to pretend that none of it ever happened. The door swung open and Gill placed the bags down in the hallway before moving to put her arm around her partner's midriff. 

"Let's get you through to the sofa, love." The DCI replied calmly, guiding the taller woman in to the front room and allowing her to flop back on to the couch. "Home sweet home."


End file.
